Dear “Party Rock Anthem”…
Dear “Party Rock Anthem”, “Last Friday Night”, “Raise Your Glass”, “Rolling in the Deep”, “Moves Like Jagger”, and every past/present/future Kesha song, here is a list of things I would rather do than be subjected to listening to one of you again.
1.) Watch Sex and the City 2 on a 24 hour loop.
2.) Download the entire soundtrack for Glee to my iPod.
3.) Procreate with the mother from What’s Eating Gilbert Grape?.
4.) Receive a handjob from Freddy Krueger.
5.) Receive a blowjob from a zombie.
6.) Camp out at Crystal Lake on a Friday the 13th.
7.) Attend a Justin Bieber concert.
8.) Pluck out my pubic hairs one by one.
9.) Catch the disease from Cabin Fever.
10.) Eat a cheeseburger off of a New Haven McDonald’s bathroom floor.
Please die and go to pop culture Hell.